my adventures continued with the same end as the last one. i willed him to north carolina it seemed, and i was graced with new songs, new seats, new acquaintances both times. it seems like so long ago even though it was just this past week that he was around the corner from my house. its like time stops while you are in the arena and speeds up tremendously once you are outside again. each day barreling through until the next time you get your fix. its an adrenalized state that does dissipate after awhile but the fizzy high you feel is on call at all times. it can come back to you and put a smile on your face when all else is failing you. i've been pondering what it feels like to be the source of such energy.
its unearthly to feel and must be divine to induce.
the surprise encore in raleigh sprawled one last funky sweaty jam before i was released back into my life. the sky shone purple after the show and the cold water felt like baptismal relief. it was surreal to see walking out of the arena where i had just witnessed a version of purple rain that almost had me in tears. this experience was joining the ranks with the first.
next up was greensboro, which counts as an adventure as i rode amtrak for the first time. [verdict: lots of leg room!] for this show, i got first hand experience of his friskiness.
now i have never been attracted to him like that, i do call him my uncle, however i do enjoy watching a man seduce an arena full of women. he did so in raleigh without a shirt underneath a open black jacket for kiss, which has no photographic evidence as everyone was mesmerized. he melted the house in greensboro fully clothed with a strut. the crawling and laying down on top of the piano helped as well. the feline nature is so apparent and the sequined suit makes him seem as if he is made of light. plenty of movements, quotes, and visuals to add to my library. my mind is just aggregating as each show brings something new, something unique, something unforgettable.
like chaka & prince duetting on sweet thing, he said it best...are u kidding me?
its one long party that my mind keeps replaying while secretly seeking out new opportunities to continue the adventure. i have realized that my experiences at the shows are in a league on their own. a different experience all together with a different end than when i am listening through my headphones. my presence matters at a concert. as one of his backup singers tweeted back to me, if it wasn't for your energy it wouldn't be as funky. i'm there to be in concert with the performers on that stage, singing and dancing as much as my small allotment of space will allow. its not a personal serenade, its a party. its a celebration of life and love. its testifying to the power of music, a church we all attend. i love being in that choir. i love seeing his reactions to music that seem to mimic my own. i love seeing him loving what he does. i love hearing the reactions of those around me.
i love taking this feeling with me.
its no mistake to me that he often ends with adore, repeating for all time i am with you, you are with me. he is with me, constantly playing me through my joy and pain. it is my duty to make sure my presence is felt and worth staying with him. he is a part of so many of my memories and its gratifying to think i am part of his even if it is me and thousands of other people. that moment will persist if you are truly there to be in it. it annoys me when he has to constantly ask for feedback. its like they missed the memo. be in the moment, right here and now because this is fleeting. its so much better when you let go and only later do you realize that you were in concert with something larger than yourself. he induces, conducts, and embodies it but he is ultimately just another part. its takes all of us to make the whole.
i needed that again as january's flight of fancy seemed like a very distant memory. but i am learning to bring this feeling into my life in small ways when i can. savoring every little moment like it is dark chocolate. and as much love as i have for him, his concerts will not be the whole of my happiness, just a part. its just a super rich condensed version of all that is good that hits me with this feeling so hard that i wanna go and change the world at one o'clock in the morning on a thursday. its a hard thing to come down from to a weary reality but it does seem to help me keep my head tilted upward.
maybe that is why i always feel this abundant need to say thank you. its because he gives me hope and seeing him live reaffirms that. it keeps me lifted above what seeks to bring me down. call it spooky electric or the wicked ones but there is always some foul play at hand. and through his music, i am starting to find a better way. a way that keeps me at a level where i am peaceful in a silent room. i can smile. i can be alone and feel alive. i can be at one with something larger and find my way to myself through connecting with it.
his music has generated this space for me to live and grow as i discover who and what i am. so imagine seeing this person in the flesh, being the physical embodiment of what you love and admire. it shakes you to your core and inspires you to continue on. with that being said, i have work to accomplish and all the fuel i need to do so thanks to my dear kinfolk.
until we meet again.