two cents: know thyself

so it seems pretty clear to me that we live in a rather self-centered culture. we have i-everything and all types of personalization features at our fingertips and ironically it seems that so many still have no idea who they actually are. these identity based decisions seem to be filler. substitutes for true personal identification. we allow our purchases to speak for who we are, which isn't that bad of thing if you can actually speak for yourself too. if you got robbed tomorrow, would you still know who you are?

so why do i think its filler? well i think we take in so much from external sources and allow that to tell us who we are. we take cues from culture or those who we hold near and dear to tell us what we should be doing or feeling. you must go to college or you are ignorant. you must be married with two kids and dog and picket fence or you have failed as an adult. you must drive this car or listen to this music or behave this way to be a part of the group. you see these people bolstered by their decisions to be either a part or apart from these groups as their identities. you take these things away, and you are left with more questions than answers in front of a mirror. most of us don't like that. being left to one's own devices leaves most people uneasy i think because they haven't spent much time figuring that person out and who likes to be stuck alone with a stranger.

i spend a considerable amount of time alone and i am thankful for it. i know myself better than anyone and thus, i know when i get a real connection. i know when someone is on the level with the real me or the idea of me. there will always be layers of you, that is necessary and knowing what to share with who is self-survival number 1. but you have to know that core. that person that you are when no one is looking. when its just you having a talk with your cosmic companion [got that phrase from mlk]. knowing your deepest wants and desires and needs and not being ashamed. the person who laughs out loud at random things most people miss. the person who sings and dances when no one is around. the person with the internal glitches and quirks that you hide.

that person is you. for better or worse. you can always improve, grow and mature if you are not rainbows and sunshine and who of us is? but that change requires effort. that requires activity and in a culture where all you have to do is color coordinate your accessories to show you have a personality & identity, who would bother with all that work? false activity or pure passivity continues until people get to be middle aged and think "how did i get here?" [cue talking heads once in a lifetime]

why not try to figure you out right now? only you can do this. and mind you, you are stuck with this person for life. imagine being hijacked or followed by a stranger for all those years.

go 'head and marinate on that for a minute. peace and be wild.