idea: there is enough hate, what we need is philia

philia implies love in all it varieties. there is a span of love the goes beyond the romantic. friendship, sibling, parental, fanaticism [not to be confused with groupie-ism, i'm more of an enthusiast if anything].

the list goes on but as i define it, and yes i do have that power, as positivity, energy, and light that is transferred from one thing to another. there is nothing better to me than someone or something making me smile & laugh when all i want to do is indulge myself by wallowing. indulgence is indicative of pleasure and yes, i do think that there is a level of pleasure found in misery. its like watching yourself cry or regaling someone with how sorrowful your day was on some level brings a little bit of joy.

sometimes its the attention and other times its is truly just self indulgent. to be a lionized victim for all to see, take care of, and if nothing else, to mention. to know that someone took the time to step out of their own self obsessed nature to notice your plight. and i am not condescending because i do this myself but here is my conclusion upon it: it is destructive.

the twist that comes with mourning oneself is that you must self destruct as well. and that will not do. how can i sit here in this life that was given to me and spit back at it nothing but self hate? how ungrateful!

because this is what i think. we are all one and a million chances. we all fought through that tube to get to an egg before the rest of those eager little suckers did and proceeded to live. we fought for the chance at life then before we had any idea of what was in store. and with a touch of grace, you have made it thus far. so instead of whining, which i have come to find that a lot of young adults spend their time doing, focus on how lucky you are to be here in this moment. you cannot spend time judging the moment, because that is not your place. " oh this is worst time i will ever have ever! it cannot be worst!" actually yes it can and most likely it will. none of us have the scope of vision to gauge that, only god does. it is above you, so focus on what you were brought here to do.

if we are all inherently evil, with all types of dark chaos within us, then it is our duty to each other to bring in the light when we can. and if you are someone like me that feels as if she is bursting at the seams with it, you feel obligated to share. i have had someone tell me that i have the light of god in me [no disrespect in non-capitalizing, just trying to be consistent], that i am so talented, so artistic, so creative, so smart, so so so many things that tell me that what i do through action or example has an effect.

i am a good one for metaphors, so i once compared myself to the sun. not in a narcissistic way, but in the emission of light way. in the sense that the sun is this huge star, slowly but viciously burning away at itself until one day, it will explode. so this is me letting the energy out to all of those who see my light and want to spread the love like me.

welcome to philiadose: injecting love on the regular with all the things that i hope will make you think, laugh, sing, dance, ponder, inspire and at best change the cycle of self destruction to something a bit more positive.

just smile people! i mean get a pet or something :)

you are a walking winning lottery ticket.
start acting like what you are worth.

stay tuned for your daily doses.