idea:observance

i have been in a lot of intelligent converstaions and one in particular came up that resonated a deep sadness in me. i am not the news but here is a fact: a young boy in elementary school killed himself due to hateful anti-gay bullying. read that again.

this child did all the things you are supposed to and yet he was sacrified [may he be at peace in death].

there is this thing in me, a sensistivity, that breaks when i hear of things like this. i feel the innonence or idealism peeling away. but this is also why i do what i do. that is some of the darkness i want to balance out with my light. however, what bothers me the most is that no one notices anything until there is a tragedy.

tragedies in these terms have been happening for years [remember columbine] and it has gone without any reform until now we have young children not even to make it through their formative years. there are just so many issues at hand: the system who cannot discpline without fear of government reprimands for truancy, the underpaid teachers too jaded by the system, the overpaid counselors who don't do their jobs, the parents who don't advocate for their child, the friends who don't know what to do, the bullies who are broken themselves and lashing out, the media who take advantage for ratings but surely accomplish nothing long term. it is a mess.

but the worse thing of it all for me is the mentality of believing that children do not share the same issues as adults, that they will outgrow these feelings and should "suck it up". children are people too but the reason they are so vulnerable is because they lack the perspective to "suck it up". how are you supposed to cope when everyone in your universe is either ridiculing or ignoring you?

beyond that it is the mentality that people believe that they have the right to hate. that for some reason you have the power to choose that someone else is not worthy of being here. such arrogance and truly a sign of low self-esteem in themselves. within minority cultures, that are notoriously and as far as i am concerned ignorantly homophobic, the hatred we have historically received is spewed back out into the world in a vicious violent way. and by and by, people begin to accept it to the point where someone being repeatedly taunted goes unnoticed. not to mention the other various cases of bullying, beating and raping of students, i just cannot understand how blind you have to be for this to go on.

this particular case surrounds sexuality, which is a part of who you are, not your clothes or something you will outgrow. even weight teeters upon this line of sensitivity because you feel like this is something about yourself that cannot change. but no one has the right to make you feel like you are not worthy of the life you were blessed to have. and to have that type of hate happening within the first fraction of life, so viciously that you do not want to continue on, is unacceptable.

i do not know that solution. but what i do know is that people need to start paying attention. stop talking all the time and listen. let go of ignorant hate and stop teaching it to your children.

observe and feel, tap into your sensitivity, because the kind words you give today could be talking someone off the ledge tomorrow.

as my sister told me, smile more, you never know whose day you are going to brighten.