rambling idea: judgments & open minds

these days used to bear significance. funny how things change. thankfully things change. anniversaries become saturdays and the world moves on. i'm past it. i do not even ponder it anymore really. not in that mind numbing side cringing will i ever get answers way like i used to. more in the i wonder what he's doing fleeting feeling i get for most people i have not talked to or seen in awhile.

so clearly i do not intend to write about that since there is nothing left to say...what has been on my mind lately is judgment. i think of conversations that i have been a part of, well witnessed really, since i just sat back and listened. only occasionally chiming in. sometimes i do not feel like opening up someone's mind when we are just shooting the shit. but a lot is said in jest that stings.

it hits my ears wrong and i think man, that would be really offensive if certain people were in the room. i am not the pc police so why bother, but what concerns me is how people that claim to be open minded say things that are just the opposite. open mindedness does not equivocate to tolerance outwardly but internal disgust or reprimand. not that we all have to get along and agree but i do think there has to be mutual respect and at least an attempt to see the other side. then if you still cannot see or agree, you can walk away. but rash generalizations pool out of people with the connotation of it being an absolute truth from their point of view. there is never a bend to see it from the other side, which is at the core of open mindedness.

if you can only express your view with sentences that begin with i, then you're missing the point. there will always be the filter of your own existence, but there must be empathy as well as relation.

the conversations that come to mind involve two divides: sexual & generational. both have been within my family. sexuality is not something that i believe we have an issue with as a family but it is easy to say because we have never had to consider it. no one has had to come out to us before. we have all been deemed heterosexuals. but what seems to fail me is how they cannot understand that everyone has their own kinks and things that arouse them, so what turns you on is not what is going to turn someone else on.

speaking of homosexual men and not understanding how they are attracted to the male form that is overtly masculine. i mean they are gay! of course it turns them on, that is the point. assumptions & stereotypical generalizations run rampant. the inability to look at it rationally and without cultural goggles or from within your own preferences is what gets me. there is no major difference to me. everyone likes what they like and that's cool.

as long as its not children or incest or dead people or animals. everything else is fair game. there is clearly variety and difference but nothing that should cause someone shame.

i try not to pass judgment on people for thinking the way that they do but i do find it interesting that many within the black community cannot seem to wrap their minds around sexuality and open their arms to their so called alternative counterparts. especially since the rhetoric is quite similar to what racists would say about what they considered to be lesser races. they make them seem alien, inhuman, closer to animals, somehow less than...instead of just different.

ignorance is lack of knowledge. some people are not intentionally malicious because they just do not know. and to me, it seems unfair and unfounded to jump down their throats every time they bring it up. how can you expect them to learn if they cannot ask? its when it becomes a joke that it begins to hurt. when it feels as if the inquiries are not genuine that it becomes malicious.

the generational divide within the black community is one that fascinates me. it is so evident to me the shift from my parents generation to ours. i understand it but what bothers me is the continual disassociation and lack of respect for the younger generation from the older. this becomes so unbelievably clear to me when talking about music.

music means a lot to every culture i suppose but i know it does for african americans. our music has been our lifeline in terms of survival. from wading in the water to pop locking on the block, our music has been our way out. the way to express ourselves in a way that was unique to us. no matter how often it is bastardized, it is still us. we created the american musical landscape as we know it. that sounds like such a broad and boastful statement but it is true. spirituals, folk, blues, jazz, rock, funk, pop, hip hop. it all began with us. now it has sprawled the world over and been built upon and broken into various genres. some derivative & celebratory before yielding their own innovations while others stole without a second thought.

the music has identified who we are and bordered in what was acceptable with monikers existing like black or white music. if you step outside said boundary you are somehow leaving behind part of your identity or culture. it became so controlled which to me is completely against the nature of music itself. its meant to spread and translate.

in all of this division, a generational split happened within the community that was made appallingly clear in music. on numerous occasions i think we all have had to defend hip hop. we've had to explain its artistry. now clearly as chris rock so masterfully broke down, some things make it difficult to really stand up for hip hop. but there are always shining examples, depending on what hip hop means to you.

but what confounds me is the inability to see how hip hop developed in an organic way from the musical traditions that our parents generation gave us. it speaks to us and our lives right now. i know that what spoke to them back in day wasn't easily accepted either. the classics were not always so. legends were not born. but what i find interesting is that it is not another race that does not seem to understand. it is your parents. the people that created you and they do not even seem to get it. the divide is within what used to be such a tight knit club.

there was a shift. hip hop birthed a new musical tradition like rock n roll and its going through all the same phases. the shift in circumstance from generation to generation has changed the way we express ourselves and thus how we understand each other. the circumstances which we now live under did not exist when our parents were the same age as we are now. the opportunities are nowhere near equal. not just in terms of race, but gender, sexual orientation, economic status, educationally, technologically. the list goes on forever. thus, in many ways our music speaks in a language that many of them cannot even understand. but i relish when the lines are blurred and they like some of the music we like proving the lineage is still there.

we are their children. i was raised on everything from sergio mendes to the police, bob marley to talking heads, steely dan to prince, jimi hendrix to david bowie. they brought the world into our home with every song. and thus some of their tastes have clearly rubbed off. i owe my open mind to it. and i am thankful for it. that i know more and can be empathetic to others in a way that a lot of other cannot seem to grasp.

there is no finger pointing or ranking, just an open mind that hopes other people will open theirs as well. we are all human and anything that elevates us above being animals is fascinating. everything speaks to someone. everyone has something that turns them on. it may not make sense to you but then why should it? some things will be outside of your realm of understanding.

either learn the language or tip your hat and keep it moving.