decision: adventures

so when i look back on all these ramblings, there is a sure common thread of wanting. of yearning to do the things that i dream about doing or see others doing. wanting to have the stories i listen to others tell. i put it rather plainly: i want life.

well now i am allowing myself this with what will be my adventures. taking the initiative to do what i want, whether or not anyone else around me wants to. i started to think of all the times that i had not gone to do something because i did not want to be alone. i wanted to experience it with someone else. movies i can always do alone but other events like concerts are meant to be enjoyed by a group or crowd. but now, forget about it. the other liked minded people in the crowd will be my gorup.

my first adventure: washington d.c. for the rally to restore sanity and/or fear this saturday. one blogger called this event our generation's woodstock. thousands will be flocking to the national mall and i knew that i could not miss this. unlike my sister who would be there except for her you know "life" i have no excuses. so i will be taking a bus day trip to the capital to enjoy a couple of hours of good time, community, and comedy.

i am excited. i am proud of myself for doing it and not just thinking about it. i was almost discouraged when no one i knew wanted to go as well but i know what means something to me and what i would regret if i was not there. i have seen it happen too many times to me [paolo nutini live, obama rally in stl, etc] and i could not bear to have it keep happening.

now the only issue is how often can i have these adventures? what can i do within reason?

uncle p is having a series of shows in nyc in december. and the real deal sealer, miss janelle monae will be there. the woman who i facebook messaged once i fell for her voice and actually got a reply. the woman who i told if i was a singer, i would want her voice. who i asked for hair advice [just leave it alone, apparently] the woman who i told that i admire and that i can say stands alone in the category of her contemporaries. i quite simply love her and i am proud of her like i know her personally.

i told myself if this happened i would be there. that was some wishful thinking months ago but it actually happened. the rationality in my mind says of course he will tour the whole country, not just nyc and to wait. the other part says, so what, you could afford it if you act now. you aint never been to nyc and never seen him or her for that matter. what could possibly be holding you back? it would have to work perfectly. nothing could go wrong. i would have to find a way to get tickets though they go on sale while im in dc.

are they both once in a lifetime deals? i don't know. do i wanna risk it? not really....

but to say the very least, i will be having my fun now. no holding back.

and of course now, i am sure others will be announcing tours [iamx??] and robbing me blind. but i would be soooooo happy.

decisions, decisions. decisions.

[i'm not gonna go to nyc but d.c. is tomorrow. i'll let u know!]